Poker_lucky4's Xanga

The Move

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 05:07:54 GMT

i've made a home at www.myspace.com/youre_my_cousin_dotcom

you can only imagine how weird it actually is for my true cousins to visit that site.

anyway, my poetry odes and opinions are now updated there. thanks.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Fri, 27 Jan 2006 05:04:55 GMT

when all else fails, when muddin calls all the testosterone in males in a 87 mile radius, friends decide they need to book it to another county and your mother demands you to do laundry or die... these are the times where you need to sing.

david allan coe, for instance, is a great singer. i like to mock him. i try to dress up like him, but i dont grow hair on my jawline.

on sadder notes, i signed up for the bryon joe ballard memorial scholarship tonight. got chills runnin down me. i thought we'd be fillin out houchens news letters together now, but i'm fillin out an application in just a memory of him, instead. oh well... its a plain fact in the back of my head by now, and you could very well say i'm numb to it. but its almost painful to be immune to it.

i had a dream about gettin in trouble for tryin on prom dresses cause they were all too small and i ripped them when i put my gargantuous thigh in the designated part.

ok im done

Friday, January 13, 2006

Fri, 13 Jan 2006 04:52:03 GMT

i was cleaning out earl the other day. this is what i found:

-four shirts

-sprayable cheese (kraft american style)

-lays stax

-kentucky postcard

-umbrella

-school books from junior year

-paint

-a half-eaten twix (melted)

-underwear (?)

-a bible

-a rolling stones tour hat

-cruched cowgirl hat

-extra brake pads

-fill-a-flat

-and cashews

earl was packin.

i love earl. the end.

-seila

p.s.

i want to say how freakin proud i am of the 623rd, still. its still unbelievable havin my brother back and a soldier that became my own, i guess you could say, a week ago. it's a dream... cause in some kinda awesome paradoxal statement, me n the soldier are makin up for lost time. yeah, wow. its awesome. and we're goin huntin. real soon. and we're gonna get one. and we're gonna make deer jerky out of it lol. oh yeah. thats right lol. sappy stuff is done.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 07:14:44 GMT

this is seila... comin in at the big 2 in the mornin

i have to go to work tomorrow, but i am happy. yes, i am happy. thank the Good Lord above that everyone you really have a great time with and goof around with arent only brothers and brothas from different mothas.

yes, stevies city limits had to wait tonight... we'll have to bust the moves out later... but good al, seth n timmy tibbs n me raise the roof at toots. i fished in medium wing sauce and found some chicken, i think. tibb's new truck went all over the western part of the state today. we tried to fit in some dovies but they closed, so we took a tour of 'lil hazard'... or... 'town'... or... 'tville'. great fun... lotta lotta singin. ended up around 10 we went to holly watkins bday party and they bout had to purchase a new stereo system, tv and fish tank from a wild game of pinata. all was well in the end, though.

THANK THE GOOD LORD FOR STOPLIGHTS.

tomorrow, t'ville is holdin a parade for alpha battery 623rd... another awesome thank your for my brudda and my... ... ... man?... i guess i could say that now...
tibbs told me that all the yellow ribbons and banners really make it real to be home... like he knows hes where he's supposed to be now and it feels good to him. so dont quit makin the banners, i think i be makin one before long with a picture of a guy w/ a mullet.

so im coughin like a carburetor and soundin like im dyin... but earl DIDNT have to die... just gimme a few more times to repeat myself on the phone.

aright... so imma go to bed and yeah... have some freakin awesome, off the wall dreams.

just wanna give a shout out to those Great Ones in heaven for bringin most of the 623rd back safe. (love ya brudda).

-seila

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Wed, 04 Jan 2006 01:38:31 GMT

wow.

that pretty much sums up what i'm thinkin.

four wheeler ridin and laughin like crazy and chris farley and mud and dancin and stories and barbeque.

lost a cell phone, but... i somehow don't mind too much. i'll probably be missin it real good when i have nothin to wake me up in the mornin or keep time w/ durin the day. alright, gonna invest in a watch now lol.

lol... have a great night. wish i could hug yall... and yes, i've showered. (smiley winky face)

be good- if ya need anything i either be workin or at school or at home.

you rock.

-seila

Monday, January 02, 2006

Mon, 02 Jan 2006 06:40:26 GMT

lemme run off some words to describe my night:

comanches, toots, milkshakes, battin cages, shooter jennings, steve earle, johnny cash, theatres, singin, more singin, laughin, smilin, stories, roads, buildings, mornin, 5oclock, earl, barns, houses... ... yeah.

all i have to say is, sometimes it doesnt hit you how good things are until you step back and think... takin someone by the hand would be my advice to someone else to see it a lil clearer too. fun times for a long night with a million thoughts runnin thru the mind with only so much energy of thought to keep. somehow, at the end of eight hours, i just wanted to keep huggin. call me a dork, i probably am, call it fatigue, yea that too, but dang, freakin nervousness.

eh, maybe i expect too much for a first time out... but yeah... great new years... really great new years startin off w/ a bang.

yall are great and i wish i could hug each n every one of ya after i take my shower for your own health. be good .

-seila

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Sat, 31 Dec 2005 20:31:10 GMT

oh crappola... it's new years eve. this is the beginning of the year of my graduation. oh gosh, it's come to me like the hiccups at work. the moment i lift the pa system phone to my mouth, the entire store hears a butchered version of "cu-YUH-stomer on tw-YUH-o-o pl-YUH-ease."

oh well... i'm actually just excited to leave all the stupid crap of 05' in the past. all that stuff i couldve been arrested for, laughed at for and put in the nuthouse for is ... hopeuflly... wiped clean? hmmmm... let us pray.

but this year is going to have no freakin, stinkin resolutions. cause ya know what? the more daggum rules ya got that ya just gotta abide by cause if ya dont youre gonna put yourself in belly-button rise jeans for a month become negotiable. it's human nature anyway- draw a line, or create a little red button, somethings goin to go down like mc hammer's dancing career. so, this year, i'm just gonna say to myself in crazy situations... "now, do you really wanna be kickin yourself like last time..." or how about just using the whole frontsight 20/20 and steerin away from situations that YOUVE LEARNED SUCK. yes, yes... i think it's just going to be a lot of mentoring to myself other than slappin my hand and kickin my self in the shin.
and hey, what about the occasional "you could do this, or quote 40 year old virgin with your sister".

did i ever tell yall that me n me sisa went to lexington for our xmas present? yeh... mom n andro n me all rented a hotel room and shopped. the room was fully equiped with a state of the art jacuzzi with four hydro-techno jets that propelled luxurious massuse worthy relaxation to the feet, back and buttocks. hmm... well, what happened in the end, was we bought bubble bath and made some serious awesome bubble snowmen on the walls. can i get a chorus: BON, BON, BON, BOND-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENG!... oh

yeah, my sister rocks. she even picked out a guy to marry with an awesome harley. mmhmm. that's right.seila got to ride on it while comin back from bowling green in august. yeh, my hearing abilities have plummeted, but it was well worth it with that bowl cut helmet.

last night, brock had a birthday get together... stayed from 10 to 1:30... my gosh that was some good times. i met dyer, eddie, joel, schuyler and a guy named dubes. yes, it was mostly inside jokes goin all around, but still, they were very welcoming. they even introduced me to the fine masterpiece of "inbred rednecks". this is the number one underground movie of 98 with the worst filmography i've ever seen in my life. stomped all over cornman episodes, though.

supposed to go over to forman's today, but seila's living under mom's roof, so i'm... still... here. hmmm... ya gotta love the woman tho.

around seven, laura, austin, trent, kati n me are gonna be chillin it out over at haywood with a cheeseball and some cocktail weenies. oh yes, this is good. andro's gonna pick me up round 11 and we're gonna make fun of drunk people.

RINGIN IN THE NEW YEAR LIKE NEVER BEFORE!

hey, youre awesome. bye.

p/s... i just wanted to give a shout out to Jesus who blessed me with the chance to meet and hang out with so many amazing people that He so wonderfully created.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 03:48:30 GMT

phil wells, the bad checks guy for houchens, told me a joke tonight that i have to share with the entire xanga tuned population...

hey, d'joo herr bout them wisemen from the story of the birth a' Jesus were really ferrmen?

what are ya talkin about?

well... Bible says they came from 'aferr'

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Sun, 25 Dec 2005 03:48:18 GMT

tonight, i was a spectator.
i was a spectator of the world's deepest, oddly rooted emotions.

welcome home to the 623rd.
after a year's combat, a year's tragedy and a year's glory, you made your way back to barren county. getting off your charter busses, your faces were of faint exhaustion with a hint of fear, and of course ease. on your families faces were contorted variations of anxiety and bliss.

the complexity of a human response from stimuli of daily life (emotions) completely amuse and baffle me. soldiers comin home that havent seen their families in a year can just be able to look at eachother and that can be enough, but for others, not enough. it's like some people didnt know what to say and just stood around lookin at everybody else. they weren't familiar with faces anymore that were animated compared to the pictures they kept. of course, then there were others sharin oxygen supplies.

i dunno... i guess i expected everything to be like a movie. everyone would rush to ... someone ... and start talkin in their ears real quiet while the other started laughing and nodding. dont get me wrong, i saw that a few times. in some quarters of the convention center, this was what happened. what i'm wondering is - what's it mean for those who were just looking around, dumbfounded... waiting for something more interesting and familiar to happen?

oh well. i think too much.

but it's christmas... and we've gotten what we needed... some kind of peace.

santa didn't bring it... the national guard did.

i need a good kick in the pants... i've got everything, but yet i'm wore out and just wanting above most things to sleep. thanks houchens lol.

everbody, i love ya... wish i could hug ya... i think thats what would give me the best high in the entire universe.

thank the good lord... just speakin from my heart has actually given me real peace. probably no body read this, and i have no problem with it... but it's written down and that's all that matters to me... feels like the truth's out and i can think about somethin else lol. ok, im done, youre awesome, bye.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 06:04:36 GMT

what i want to be is strong. i haven't been. some of you may know that... some more than others.

strength can't come from depending or leaning on someone else. this, in turn reverses the metamorphosis into a cruel revelation of our true, raw shortcomings.

with this in mind, i shall declare i want to stand alone for a while. not on a pedastool so when i say jump, all those little people below me ask in unison: 'who the crap you think you are bigg'n'?
no, due to the misuse of mr. alexander graham bell's device, i've come to appreciate bein alone again. no, i'm not a hermit who knits while watching old movies in the lamplight... crap.
but, no... i have friends and family. when i have a male firgure type crutch, i concentrate all my time in testing it out, spendin time learnin how i work with it and getting used to it.

i will admit i have been the worst sister these past few months, because of my recent facination. forgetting that she sat alone, refusing to be a barging 3rd wheel, i didn't think twice and spent all my 24 hours of breathing with a guy i can't even talk to now. and she was waiting on me all those times. just to watch a movie, or go out to eat. i was too tired, though, or had other plans (as usual). i just thank the good Lord that she's not a woman of paybacks. i would be a lonely knitting movie watcher for a life. no, she said to me "naw, i know how it is. ya just gotta live and learn". i love this lady.

life always has a tendency to put me in my place along with all the other miniscule notches on the lifeline timeline we fall on. brutally humbling, yes, but i wouldn't trade it for the world. there's a verse in the Bible that says something like- and when i am weak, i am strongest.
ya know why that is?
because the people who don't think they need anybody stand upon a mountain all by themselves- no support, no resistance, no crutch...

put that way, maybe i DO need a crutch... i've just been testing out the wrong one. a few months ago, it happened to be that my main religious discovery was 'why not put all that you are into something that you can't see, or feel, or touch or destroy?' all the things that you can do that to fade away with time. what i was talking about was things like love, faith and hope. sappy, maybe, nostalgic, bible thumping fuel, definately. but i'm proud to say hey, i've learned something new tonight.
i need a crutch. i would be blessed if that crutch were Jesus. at my weakest in bodily strength, when i'm most stressed out, tired and torn, i can be strongest, because the entire angel army, God's outstretching hand and rock-solid foundation are keeping me untouchable from the crazy world that has a habit of enveloping me.

isn't it crazy that submission can actually be the first step to conquering? only in a world with a loving force so great...

-seila